Struggling...

Its been long since i last posted. There were many reasons, a few tests in college, dint feel like writing any experience, and above all coz i was struggling to keep myself on track.. i fell many times, but Waheguru ji gave me his hand and pick me up..  i have been doing well academically, thats a relief . All my wishes are being fulfilled (Materialistic ones) ... But in between all that i was struggling to keep up the fight with my mind....  

I dont want to follow my mind , i want it to  follow me... Yesterday i was motivated again to fight hard while doing Sehaj path..  Kabir ji said, without subduing the mind, devotional worship is not possible... 

So the struggle to subdue it continues... I know God will help me, i just have to keep patience...   

E.N.T Test..

since i entered this college, i have been poor academically.  but today for this E.N.T test i m feeling confident...  my prep is not so good even today but, there is a confidence of some sort that Waheguru ji mere naal hai...
I hav decided to do a Sukhmani Sahib path in evening after test...  but not for any wish,  just for love...  i do care abt materialistic things like performance, but i really should not, and that wat i keep trying.....

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa , Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

A short target achieved...

Its been a weak now , God has made me to do nitnem at amritvela.  Its a good feeling. 
And there is another target...  i m trying to control my body psychologically and emotionally, its been 5 successful days with God's grace... now i m targeting to achieve 15 days for both..   May Waheguru ji be with me  or ill fail... as i cud hav many times during last weak , but God supported me.....

Actions have reactions..

I was confused yesterday about the unrighteousness of some actions i did , i was trying to justify them,  but this morning during nitnem i dint get same satisfaction as i got yesterday, i was not able to concentrate, that made me think  that it may be due to those stupid actions i did... ill try to avoid them and see the results again....

Short Targets

Thinking of setting up small targets, like its been 3 days that i made full use of early mornings, so i m setting the target as 1 weak.. may God help me achieve it..

The Great Confusion....

Sleep...Its really a waste of time.... i have heard that saints stay attuned to the almighty even during their sleep... But i aint no saint, everything was going good, then i slept.  Anyways sleep is not the only issue i m dealing with rite now....no matter how much i control its really hard to control some feelings, some actions, i feel ashamed to describe them, it feels like they are part of life, they are  essential. i dont know, wats right wats wrong, i also feels that the main problem is attachment,  if you stay detached and your actions are not hurting anyone or yourself, and you prevent the filthy thoughts to enter your mind, then those actions should not be harmful. But really.. i dont know.. i m still confused.. i just keep asking for guidance from Guru ji, as he knows all the answers, you just have to find them, If Guru Ji loves me he will tell me all the answers i need...
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa , Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

Its a beautiful morning..

Almighty lord woke me up early today, and filled my heart with love, made me sing the panj bani nitnem  with love.. it is really a beautiful morning...I m feeling desire less, except one desire, that this love in my heart keep increasing whole day, and then day by day. God please bless me that i do not forget your name even for an instant, please keep me away from all negative influences. There is nothing else i need, except unmeasurable love in my heart for you...